His world is leogs, books, wii, school, sports, friends, his dsi, harry potter. I am an outsider, generally. After all, he is nine, and has no need for his mother. I ask questions and sometimes I get one word answerss, but other times, I get more. And I yearn for those times. But often, when he has opened the entrance to his world for me, I'm busy. I'm decompressing from the day, making dinner, doing laundry, checking homework, prepping for the next day etc, and I don't take the entrance opportunity offered me. And the door closes again.
Why am I not taking advantage of the opportunity to get him to talk?
And it's not just with Warren. It's with Elaine and Mike too. I realize ocassionally that all I've done is say 'later' or 'in a minute' or 'un huh' without even hearing what's been said. Then I forget later, and it's over. Instead of listening or talking with W, E or Mike, I'm instead talking at them.
I do this when I call people too. Like "let's get down to business". And then I realize all I've done is call to get my needs addressed - rather if it's firming up plans or asking questions. I feel like it's me being efficient, but in retrospect? It's me being a selfish pig! I'm getting my needs met and not checking on others.
I've got to stop that. Because I miss people. And I miss me. And I want my kids to want to talk to me, especially now because I know in a few years there isn't going to be an chatter. I mean they'll be teens and totally done with me. Parents are so last year you know?
I've got to pause. I've got to ask questions and listen for the answers. I've got to listen to the long winded stories of the custom built lego heroes, villians and fortresses to appreciate the creativity of my son. I've got to be my husband's partner. I've got to be my kids' mother. I've got to stop worrying about the to do's, and worry about the now.
I'm really not that busy.
I hear you. I think as mothers we all feel that way sometimes. The chores can wait, is what it really comes down to. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Posted by: Farrell | March 31, 2011 at 06:27 AM