Is admitting it truly the first step?

I am a control freak.

There, I said it.  Do we all feel better now?

My name is Jenny and I am a control freak.  "Hi Jenny!"

I swear, I've tried to let go of things.  I really really have.  But some things still get me all bothered when they are not done the 'correct' way.  And by correct, I mean my way.  Of course.  Did you think I didn't?  I don't have my kids help put away the laundry because I want to keep their closets clean and organized.  I hang up outfits for Elaine so she doesn't have to fight with me each morning.  I hang W's shirts and pants separately because he has a freaky thing about textures and whatnot and who can ever guess what's going to set him off?  So I take control of their closets.

Now, imagine how well a five and eight year old keep their closets clean.  Yeah, they don't.  And me?  I somehow take it as a personal assault.  Seriously.  What's up with that?  I reprimanded Warren this morning and told him if he didn't help with his closet I'd take his Legos away.  Because that makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Jenny, control freak, LET IT GO.

I can say that to myself, but I can't seem to do it.  I mean, I let Elaine help clean and it takes everything in me not to follow behind her.  What if she misses something?  Or doesn't clean the toilet quite right?  Warren unloads the dishwasher on occasion and I have to leave the kitchen for fear that he will drop something and I'll blow a gasket!

I don't want to do everything for my kids.  I want them to be responsible for things and help out.  But how can you strike a balance when the mom's a control freak?  AGH!

And seriously, my shoulders get all raised up and my heart quickens when I just glance at the desk in W's room, COVERED in lego pieces.  Legos on the floor, legos on the lego table, legos in the bins, on the desk EVERYWHERE.  Who can do creative building in all that chaos?  It's impossible I tell you!  Impossible!

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

So that's me - Jenny, control freak.  Trying to let go one lego brick at a time.  Or one hanger on the floor at a time.  Or one dusty table at a time.

HELP!

Comments

[Lala]

Oh my, oh my, oh my.....you just described me to a T....a perfectly designed "T". We had to have been separated at birth or we were raised in the same type of household and sent out to fend for ourselves only to find out that we can and will run our world the right way...."OUR WAY" :-)

Hi My Name is Laura and I am a Control Freak.....nice to meet you Laura.