1 – If Elaine doesn’t write it down on her paper, then it doesn’t exist. For example, she is working on memorizing 11 states and capitals from the Western region of the US. And on her map, she didn’t list a capital for either Hawaii or Alaska. “I guess they don’t have capitals,” she said and then moved on. I politely informed her that they indeed do. “Nope, they don’t. If she wrote it on the board, I wrote it down, and I didn’t write it down. Alaska and Hawaii just don’t have capitals."
2 – Warren is not responsible for his actions. Elaine ticked him off, therefore, he kicked the bottle of shout stain remover. Said stain remover spilled all over the carpet. And then he yelled for help. “MOM! Elaine ticked me off and it made me spill the stain cleaner and now it’s everywhere!” Do you know what Elaine did to tick him off? Those were his words, by the way, tick him off. She reminded him that I said they needed to put their clean clothes away, rather than just set them in their rooms. The nerve of that girl!
3 – Getting a score of 27 out of 45 on your social studies test is bad, but look, “I only messed up page 2 and 3.” Out of three total pages. (Bangs head on kitchen table.)
4 – Warren will dance at a wedding reception, but only to songs he knows. This includes ‘Teach Me How to Dougie’, and ‘The Wobble Dance’ among other awesome choices. He believes he is a dancing machine. I love it.
5 – My dog is now so terrified of thunderstorms that during the night he will use the bathroom in the house. I will discover the urine at about 5 am while barefoot.
6 – In the battle of treadmills vs Jenny? Treadmills win EVERY TIME. I don’t have the mental capacity to battle them. Instead, I will run a ridiculous amount of circles on an indoor track to get my mileage in. Suck on that treadmill.