Do you think facebook really means it when it asks, "how are you doing today, Jennifer?" Because this morning? That is a loaded question.
I have matters to attend to. Stat. So I woke up early (ish) to get to gettin'. Of course, yahoo mail was experiencing technical difficulties. Why wouldn't they be? Moving on, I began thinking/typing a blog entry. And promptly deleted it, four times. My thoughts are so unorganized and I could have just rambled, but then what? Does it serve a purpose? Other than clearing my head?
Guess what? That's what we're doing. Julie's favorite, diarhea of the mouth, here we go! I need to clear my head!
- My baby sister is having her first born tomorrow! It's a boy, scheduled to arrive via c-section tomorrow morning around 9:30 am. My first born? Turns 11 on Friday. Yowzers.
- A few nights ago, I mis-heard Elaine as we were leaving Applebees. The kids and I had dined there, and there were weird smells while we were eating. On our way out of the restaurant, the lobby/waiting area was extremely crowded with families and such waiting on tables. I commented that we had good timing, avoiding the rush. Elaine said, "it's mainly eldery people in the line." That is NOT what I heard. I giggled to myself, grabbed her hand and said, "E, you can't say things like that." She turned to me. She repeated what she had said. I laughed even harder. "What I heard was, "there are filthy smelly elderly people". This head cold and my ears? Not getting along.
- I watched Robin Roberts 20/20 show last Friday night about her battle with MDS. I wish I could have known some of that sooner. I mean, I could imagine what my dad was feeling, but... He's my dad. He doesn't share that stuff, at least not with his girls. The loneliness, the worry, the defeat, the resolve, the pain, the exhaustion - all of it. I knew it, but I am so thankful for her sharing her journey. I appreciate my dad's fight, but now I appreciate it even more.
- Speaking of my dad. While he's not done - I mean he's got to protect himself from cooties for a long time and get his numbers up to the status quo - the relief I feel about the MDS being in remission? It's literally that 'weight has been lifted' feeling. I feel lighter. Even though the scale reads heavier.
- Scales? F off. I have put on ten pounds of what I lost. DAMMIT. Back to the drawing board and with more resolve.
- When my dad called me the other night? He sounded so much like himself that for a moment, I forgot about the MDS. And he was just my dad. That was awesome.
- Warren will be eleven on Friday. How is that possible?
- Our lives have been so crazy lately, that I feel like Mike and I barely talk. And when we do, we are so tired, we talk at each other instead of to each other and it's mainly about scheduling. The good news is, we both recognize this, and it happens - you can't avoid it - so we're working on it.
- This multitasking world makes you think you can listen to someone while emailing or scheduling or whatever. You can't. Put the electronics down. Turn and give eye contact. Be present. (That's a reminder for myself.)
- Also? SLOW DOWN. I tell my kids to hurry up so much in the morning. There's no reason. If they miss the bus, I can get them to school.
- I need to slow down. In my rush on the way to drive the kids to the bus stop? I scratched my car against my mailbox. That is so damn frustrating it makes me want to scream and cry all at the same time. It's just a car. But STILL. A long scratch I did myself by not slowing down and paying attention. For the love.
- Last night I mis-heard Warren as we pulled into the garage. He asked, "where are Dad and Elaine?" I heard "there's a dead bird in the lane." How long will this clogged ear business continue I wonder?
- Do you think I'll ever finish my first attempt at creating a scrapbook online? I mean really, is it that hard to focus Jennifer? Ooh, I used my full name with myself, I must be serious.
I think that's it for now. But I make no guarantees. I could add to this. Don't ask me such loaded questions facebook. You never know what you'll get in return!
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