When the kids play outside, there are always accusations of cheating and not playing fair. (Which are always defended by "no it's just a rule I hadn't told you yet.") And I listen as Warren's voice reaches this awful pitch - he gets the pitch when he's fired up or frustrated. I assure you, the voice is like nails on a chalkboard. It's just plain awful.
Yesterday as I laid on sick island with Elaine, Warren played outside with the neighborhood kids. And I heard them all calling each other cheaters, and yelling at each other. I did not intercept because quite honestly, it's like talking to yourself. None of them listen; nothing changes; and they need to work it out for their damn selves. But Warren's voice continued to reach that pitch and the next thing you know he is crying. Crying while still screaming at the kids in the middle of the street.
I freaking lost it.
I have no idea why that irks me so badly, but it does. Mike too, so don't judge me. Be a good sport. Hell be a bad sport. Just don't be the kid who stands there crying and screaming!
So I open the door and calmly tell Warren to come inside. Which of course means he gives me attitude, WHILE STILL SCREAMING AND CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. "Get in this house," I seethed through clenched teeth. I told him to sit on the steps and I started to walk away to gather myself before unleashing a tirade. Oh I planned on a small tirade, but I certainly needed to pull it together first. But of course, his tude is out and he gives me the "why do I have to sit on the steps? You're so mean! UGH!"
Dude really? Really?
So I got to his level and ranted. In a scary mean mom voice and it made him cry harder which made him cough more (hi swine flu side effect that lingers forever). And I told him to not be that kid. Don't be the crying kid. Does the crying kid have people to play with, I asked. The response was no. I told him this was the situation as I saw it. When you are playing with people and they cheat you have two choices. You can
a - say "you're cheating. I'm done," and walk away. Go play something else with somebody else.
b - ignore the cheating and keep playing because you want to play the game.
There is no choice c - stand there screaming and crying. You can't do that when you are seven years old. Then, I waited for him to pull it together. Which of course he did, but added an "you hurt my feelings" for good measure. Ah but of course I did. I told him he could go back out after he practiced being assertive and saying option a to me. He laughed at me. Um yeah, not kidding bud.
He practiced. It sounded awful. I made him say it deeper and more like he was just done. He pulled it off.
Now let's just see if he remembers.
I know I'm totally screwing up my kids...
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