"What in the world could my aunt Madeline be sending me," I wondered aloud. I opened the envelope and read the note inside. It was something to this effect:
Jenny, we saw this in Memphis on the way home from vacation. We knew immediately that you and Elaine had to have it.
I checked in the envelope. It's a bumper sticker for the car that says:
VAGINAS R AWESOME
I almost peed my pants I laughed so hard. As you can recall, I had a hard time teaching my kids the correct words for their body parts. And since then, Elaine has been obsessed with talk of her vagina and other people's penises. The kids asked what I was laughing at. I called Mike in and told them all what it said. Elaine LOVED it. Moments later she was taunting Warren. "Warren, this says vaginas are awesome. They are. And penis are not!"
So then I had to break it to her that penises are indeed awesome as well. After all, we can't discriminate against sex organs.
I gotta say when I dreamed of being a mother, discussions of vaginas and penises being awesome never crossed my mind!